D is for depression. I am finally just owning up to it. I suffer from depression. It has been a chronic problem, but episodic. I certainly have a genetic predisposition-all members of my immediate family have been on meds for OCD or depression. I poo-poohed prescription meds; didn't need them-not me! My thought was if your life was so off kilter that you shouldn't be medicated into submisssion-fix the problem (lifestyle, stress, etc) not the symptom (depression). Sort of like having to give confinement animals antibiotics to survive the horrid living conditions. Probably not a very PC way to think. I mean we are being taught that depression is a 'real' disease, just as real as diabetes or heart disease, right?
But here I was living the life of my dreams and I didnt want to get out of bed, I didnt want to do anything except eat sweets and sleep. Stupid chickens, stupid pigs, stupid kids-what do you want from me- just LEAVE ME ALONE! Wow.
I have a theory about my depression. Yes it is 'real', but like diabetes and like heart disease there are things I can do to lessen my likelihood of disease. I believe my fragile brain chemistry is strongly affected by what I eat. This is sort of a 'chicken or the egg' thing for me. Are uncontrolled sweet cravings a cause or an effect of my depression? I am choosing to believe that I have some control over this situation and if I can restrict my carb intake (especially at the beginnings of my period) that my brain chemistry will be more stable. I have given myself a month to work on the problem in my own way. If I am not successful I will seek professional help and a rx.
This is what I am doing: omega 3 FA supplements, St Johns Wort and siberian ginseng. The first 2 have beed shown helpful in treating depression, ginseng for a self-diagnosed qi deficiency. I am also being careful about carbs. The paleo-diets are attractive to me intellectually but very difficult in practice-i dont know what to eat if not bread, pasta, potatoes. Equally important for me is to stop my procrastinating ways; pay bills on time, etc. to reduce that internal stress- i usually have a dozen things in my head to feel 'guilty' about because I havent done them yet. Most are small easily remedied things. My plan for this week is to write them out and remove them from the internal chatter.
4 comments:
How is the combination working?
We are so, so much alike! I have mucho empathy for you. I'm curious how it is working as well.
Tansy (from Dancing in a field of Tansy) used to recommend a solar light of sorts in the winter to help as well. I have yet to take her advice, but really should. This is such a dark time of the year figuratively and literally.
All I can say here is supplements dont work so well when they are in the bottle :). My problems are so episodic that I get away from helping myself. Things have been pretty good as long as i dont get stressed out.
Gina -I have a theory: smart creative people are by our very nature prone to mood disorders. There is something about how our minds are wired which brings both...just a theory.
Your theory holds water! :)
I hear you on the stress thing...once it starts it seems to bring a snowball effect of moodiness (at least in my case) and despondency.
Thinking of you!
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