This weekend i participated in an Alternative Holiday market at the Universalist Unitarian Church. A group called the Simple Sustainable Living Network (SSLN) meets at he church and hosts the market. ArkWorks Farm had a table at the market and Dad-looking for a little moral support-invited me to market my primitive wood crafts there as well. Making these wooden signs has been a bit of a hobby over the past year-not technically challenging or particularly creative but they keep my fingers in the paint pot so to speak. All proceeds were to go to the local Women's Community Center-except I had no proceeds! A lot of looking but no buying. I am not crushed! Now I have plenty of christmas gifts to give away! I was happy with my quality of work, etc and it was fun to get out of my little world. Dad sold a few chickens and made alot of new contacts and reconnected with many old teacher colleagues. We were tabled right next to the farmer we buy our grass fed beef from and what a great guy-very serious about his cattle and improving the his land. There may be a possibility of working with him in the future.

It was really important for me to get out of myself this weekend, i realized how self involved I have become-work, land, plans, family. Nothing else-nada. I need to get out more, raise my horizons. I really miss the SSLN people-we have not been meeting because everything had fallen to the 2 founders with no one else willing to take up the reins. Perhaps I can... I also missed the UU church -last winter I went to a few services and I think I will go back for more this winter.

Other fun things-I continue to wrestle with my career-I am so blessed to be able to be in a position to DECIDE how to make a living. Specialize or generalize. One of the reason I am balking at the direction of specialization and increased standards of care is I am not comfortable with an increased level of responsibility, I am afraid of being held to a higher standard and found inadequate. I am smart but not brilliant, I am a good veterinarian but not great-my strengths are empathy and compassion not logic. That is why I am afraid of the direction our clinic is headed-but perhaps my strengthss will be needed even more now.

I found these pictures in the recent National Geographic magazine (thanks Mom!)




They really stirred the artist in me. I may have to break out the acrylics again. I haven't felt the tug to paint in a long time but the color and shapes did something to me that I won't ignore. Do you know what they are?? I'll tell you next time!

Something Simmering in the Kitchen...

...and it's not the soup! It was ME. This weekend I realized I was getting resentful about spending so much time in the kitchen; making bread, cooking healthy food, doing dishes by hand, packing kids lunches and wrapping up the food storage. I was getting pissy about my self imposed kitchen duty. So I'm done-kinda, sorta. The garden is done, the girls can make their own sandwiches and put in the freezer Sunday afternoon, next pay period I will get the broken dishwasher replaced, and I will stop trying to be Martha Stewart in the kitchen (until I think it is fun again). It started out as a lot of fun but I began putting more and more pressure on myself, somewhere alot the way it became not fun and just something I should do-those damn shoulds get me every time. I remembered that the purpose for slowing down my work schedule is to ENJOY the things I have- not add more to my plate. (take the power, Kris)
Once the weather co-operates and stops raining I will get my garden put to bed, lay that project aside and turn inward to the home, my relationships, and ART. I have neglected my creativity for a long time and I can hear it calling to me (with a little outside help-thank you).

This is what I want to get back to:








Property update: we are trying to purchase the fixer-upper for a price that WILL allow us to fix it up and not necessitate two full-time working parents! The fellow who offered us the low, low price is apparently not the final decision maker and he is now waffling. I nicely and politely (we will be neighbors either way) to knock it off and give us a purchase price by this weekend or we will buy the open field! (I really don't want that, but I won't let him know !!)

Have You Played Today?

Children do it, animals do it, why have some adults lost the ability to play? Play is using imagination and creativity; getting lost in the flow, carried away even. Play is so important to childhood development and I also argue- to adult happiness. Now don't go play on the monkey bars (unless you want to), but really think about what is fun for you. Where do you find release; where can you loose your self in the moment?
Play has been put on the wayside for many of us. There is alot of pressure in our society to be productive, to accomplish long lists of important things. Play is a guilty pleasure.
Escaping is not play. Escape is trying to drown out your life with something else, like alcohol or food or TV or the internet. I will sometimes escape with a long book-hide out away from my family and escape to another place, and not come up for air until the book is done. There is a fine line between escape and play; play energizes and feels good-escape does not.
I am so guilty of this. I have nearly lost play in my life. I have actually gotten to the point where I don't know what to do on a day off if I don't have (domestic) work to do. My cycles go like this: work, work, work, burning-out, work some more, escape....work, work, work....
Incorporating play into my everyday life is one of my biggest goals, it ranks right up there with learning to grow my own food, and spending time with my kids. If gardening and planting and cooking become all work and no pleasure then what is the point? If I take something which I consider play and overdo it, make it another entry on my to do list then this experiment is for nothing.
Fun for me is horseback riding, drawing and painting, biking, getting lost in a book, flying a kite, planting and gardening. There are more but those are the biggies.
Please tell me how you play! And I challenge you to try to play a little every day!

where dreams and responsibility collide

No, I have not fallen off the face of the earth. But I was in Las Vegas for a professional meeting, which is pretty much the same thing! Las Vegas is another world IMHO. It was good to get away for a while but even better to come home! I have avoided total burnout -for the time being anyway.
My 10 year old daughter is signing up for her middle school classes. She has opted to take all EDGE classes, which are accelerated classes. She is also getting excited about Forensics and Band class. DH and I are finding it very hard to take the chicks out of this school district. We have been listing the pros and cons of each location in our minds. We have decided stay where we are. We have about 3/4 of an acre in a quiet neighborhood, a fantastic (but big) school district, we are both within 3 miles of our work, and my Mom lives 5 blocks from us. We are going to focus on the urban homestead but still have our camper on Dad's 40 to play and cut wood on.
I am more than a little sad about this, but also excited about the potential to turn our lot into a model for what can be done 'where you are'. The drama queen in me still wants to turn my back on my normal and socially acceptable life, but the parent and responsible adult knows this will be a good thing. I will still cut way back on hours in May once we have more help at work. There is no buyer for my portion of the business in the near future so retreating just is not realistic. Ugh! This responsible crap is not any fun. I will put away 'escape to the country' for now and concentrate on energy conservation, creating vegetable gardens, fruit trees, and time with my girls.

Not the dishwasher too!

Let me add to the list of things I can do without! Our dishwasher died last week, we have a new part ordered for it but it will be a while! My girls love (!) doing dishes by hand and both have requested to NOT get the dishwasher fixed. I have to say I don't mind doing them by hand-kind of enjoy the time where my hands are busy and allowing my mind to catch up and then wander free. We will get it fixed-make real estate person happy probably, but in the mean time I will enjoy doing supper dishes with the girls and making soap sud beards and crowns on us all!

I cleaned out a closet to be used for food storage, it looks great-unfortunately all the stuff i drug out of there is still sitting on the dining room table so we have been eating supper in front of the TV. Sigh! I'll save a box or two from work and get it all off to Goodwill on my next day off.

I have to say I miss reading! I used to sit down on a weekend and wrap myself up in a great science fiction or fantasy. We have all been so busy with these new projects that I haven't done that in a long time. Balance, balance, balance! Maybe just a couple of hours this weekend with a great cup of coffee, some fuzzy slippers and blanket. Enjoy the day! Kris

(Judy -thanks for the award. I'm thinking about how to pass it on!)