Mindful

Today I have a post at HWW about mindfulness and living in the moment. Enjoy the holiday season, every moment!

Plant Sex

No one guessed what the pictures in the previous post were...plant porn. Electron microscope photos of pollen enhanced with color. Once giftmas (oops christmas) is history-I will break out my old paints and see if they are all dried up or still usable! It's been years.

A helpful radio announcer reminded me that there is only 20 days until gift..christmas, I better order gifts for the girls. They have been circling and cutting out pictures from the catalogs we receive for months! Everyone else is covered, I think.

I have been working out 3-4 days per week. I feel great. The scale is not moving much (5#) but my blue jeans are much looser-as in I can pull them off without unbuttoning. Its something, I'll take it 5# at a time.

The land contract on our 20 acres is going forward. We will buy outright 4 acres plus the 33x800ft driveway, and write a contract with Mr Nice Farmer for the rest. The surveying will happen next week -to the tune of $1,000 ouch! The builder we will use is available for next summer. We will get together with him sometime in january to go over our scribbled plans.

I need to work on a post for tomorrow's Homemakers Who Work. I think I will talk about my personal hero the FlyLady...interested...come visit us there.

*WARNING_GRATUITOUS KID PICTURES*
(i don't think I posted these from this summer)


Erin before her first class--she's crazy nervous but it doesn't show


Lizzy on Beljit with trainer Liz Rice-Beula

This weekend i participated in an Alternative Holiday market at the Universalist Unitarian Church. A group called the Simple Sustainable Living Network (SSLN) meets at he church and hosts the market. ArkWorks Farm had a table at the market and Dad-looking for a little moral support-invited me to market my primitive wood crafts there as well. Making these wooden signs has been a bit of a hobby over the past year-not technically challenging or particularly creative but they keep my fingers in the paint pot so to speak. All proceeds were to go to the local Women's Community Center-except I had no proceeds! A lot of looking but no buying. I am not crushed! Now I have plenty of christmas gifts to give away! I was happy with my quality of work, etc and it was fun to get out of my little world. Dad sold a few chickens and made alot of new contacts and reconnected with many old teacher colleagues. We were tabled right next to the farmer we buy our grass fed beef from and what a great guy-very serious about his cattle and improving the his land. There may be a possibility of working with him in the future.

It was really important for me to get out of myself this weekend, i realized how self involved I have become-work, land, plans, family. Nothing else-nada. I need to get out more, raise my horizons. I really miss the SSLN people-we have not been meeting because everything had fallen to the 2 founders with no one else willing to take up the reins. Perhaps I can... I also missed the UU church -last winter I went to a few services and I think I will go back for more this winter.

Other fun things-I continue to wrestle with my career-I am so blessed to be able to be in a position to DECIDE how to make a living. Specialize or generalize. One of the reason I am balking at the direction of specialization and increased standards of care is I am not comfortable with an increased level of responsibility, I am afraid of being held to a higher standard and found inadequate. I am smart but not brilliant, I am a good veterinarian but not great-my strengths are empathy and compassion not logic. That is why I am afraid of the direction our clinic is headed-but perhaps my strengthss will be needed even more now.

I found these pictures in the recent National Geographic magazine (thanks Mom!)




They really stirred the artist in me. I may have to break out the acrylics again. I haven't felt the tug to paint in a long time but the color and shapes did something to me that I won't ignore. Do you know what they are?? I'll tell you next time!

Hiding Under the Covers

Did your mom ever tell you 'if you don't have anything good to say...'? Well I've been pretty quiet lately for that very reason. Last week was one of those black times for me. It seems every few months around my period I have a few days where I just want to crawl under the covers, curl up and cry-for no particular reason. Or get under those covers with a big piece of chocolate and a book. I've been exercising regularly and not eating much sugar so I know those are NOT contributing factors. I think narcissism and depression are on opposite ends of a spectrum which is too self-involved. Both personalities focus inwardly-thinking only of themselves, but where the narcissist has these grandiose ideas and inflated self-worth, the depressed person is focused inwardly on their own misery and anxiety. Take these ideas for what they are worth, just some random thoughts.
I was on medication for post-partum depression 10+ years ago and hated the zombie deadness. No pain, but no joy either. I am generally a pretty buoyant person, I will take the few days of chocolate under the covers over steady state zombie any day.
I am coming back to myself now, hormones are normalizing and I was kicked out of my little cocoon of self-involvement to be an vendor at an Alternative Holiday Market. More on that later-i am still sorting through some ideas which have been planted in this fertile ground between my ears. (fertile or just full of shit-time will tell)

MOSES Conference

Are any of you Midwestern readers going to the MOSES (midwest organic and sustainable education service) Organic Farming Conference in LaCrosse, WI this Febuary?? I just learned of this organization and (if we actually have a place to farm next year)DH and I would like to attend. They have a wonderful mentoring program for new organic farmers! I was just wondering if any of you Midwestern folks are going, it would be fun to meet you!