I've been kinda quiet here on the blog lately. Rest assured that I have been working hard. Last week I was filling in for a veterinarian who took his wife on a well deserved vacation to somewhere tropical. Nine hours a day plus an hour of driving on either end. I did get an unheard of, actual whole hour to sit down and eat lunch in the middle of the day! I has happy to do it for a couple of reasons the first of which is income. An hourly independent contractor rate is pretty sweet. Second and equally important was restoring my faith in my abilities. I left my practice almost a year ago burned out and uncaring. It was a relief to see that I've still got 'it'. I really enjoyed engaging with his clients and staff, dare I say I've even missed it. What I did realize is that veterinary medicine is not the all encompasing passion it once was for me. Somewhere I lost the passion which used to keep me up at night reading about new drugs, procedures, customer service tips, etc. When I lost that passion I stopped feeling qualified, I started doubting. I wasn't sure if I was good enough and tough cases really stressed me out. What if I couldn't fix them, what is wrong, maybe they would be better off under someone elses care? That self doubt would eat at me(-I'm getting that nauseous feeling in my stomach right now just writing about it!) This realization helped me to see that if I go back to veterinary medicine it will need to be from passion, from an all consuming drive, confident that I am extremely skilled and able to give my profession 100% of my mind (herbal?, acupuncture? consulting for organic producers?). Anything less will bring me back to where I was a year ago.
New Business: thirty pigs, 200 chickens, farmers market and Slow Food Wausau! ( just a teaser for tomorrow)