I came very close to failing someone who is important to me.
My mother called me yesterday morning to say she wasn't feeling well enough to watch the girls. She thought she had overdone it in the yard; her ribs, lat and shoulder muscles hurt when she took a deep breath. But then she also said that she was having chills and sweats. She was going to see if her regular physician was available and if not take herself to the walk-in. Did she need help? No. -stubborn old lady :} I jumped into the shower running over the options-take the girls with me to work, call the other grandma, husband takes a half day. My initial reaction was very self centered-how will I deal with my babysitter not being available? It did NOT even occur to me that I should help her. But-didn't she seem a little fuzzy on the phone? Didn't she have a history of NOT asking for help? (runs in the family!)
I did pull my head out of my ass long enough to make arrangements for the girls AND myself. Took Mom to the walk-in and got her settled in at the ICU for potential bacterial pneumonia and sepsis. It's too soon to know for sure, but I think she is going to be okay.
When I think about what a close call yesterday morning was I get chills. My frenetic self-centered life came very close to hurting someone I love.