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Thursday, June 10, 2010

Gut Check

I had a moment today. We were in our weekly Dr's meeting this morning and my partner was talking about farmland her husband purchased from a farmer in foreclosure. This is(was) a large landholder and ALL his property is in foreclosure. The parcel they purchased was 560 acres and a cabin on a lake! I had an immediate sinking feeling. 'what am I doing, rejecting that path?' Accumulation of property and power, isn't that the goal? It took me a couple hours to process the emotions that discussion brought up for me. I was such a relief to get back home to my girls (**and my CHICKS). My carefully nurtured plans tend to fade to a poorly defined image when exposed to the values of normal society. This is a big part of the reason we chose to buy property in the boonies. I WANTED the girls in a different district, I WANTED to NOT be so close to work that it was 'business as usual'. I need physical distance to help me preserve this vision and not make it too easy to turn this 'small life adventure' into just another house with a really big yard.

We are on the right path and this is a good thing because tomorrow is D-day. We sign the construction loan and move rabbits and cats into their new home. The 130 meat birds should arrive tomorrow. The 12 (now 11) egg layers have been in the basement for 2 days now and growing like mad. They will join the Noah's Ark-like procession tomorrow.


Karen Sue said...

Between jobs right now, I'm thinking it is the perfect time to work on some of my skills of 'living' but find that I'm spinning my wheels too much. I will get it. You know you're on the right path. I thought my hubby would be a rather hard sell, and he is on some things, but every time something happens, and trust me, a lot has happened lately, he in the country, far from all of this and all of them! I can just have an office to come to and leave. And I threw in and chickens and a cow! And he didn't do his usual frown no way expression, he said, guess we'd better find an old farm then...YES!! it may just happen after all, so I better get off the computer and DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE!!

Hickchick said...

In my heart I KNOW it but sometimes my brain plays tricks on me! .
Karen -go for it, you don't want to be in the position where you say 'why didn't i follow my gut/heart/inner voice.