FITNESS

I am so sore, I can not sit down with out my quads screaming at me, I am sweating and exhausted but I have never felt so good! This is the first week of working out with a trainer and following a high protein-eat every 3 hours-oh no, not more chicken-diet. My sugar cravings are almost non-existent which is huge for me-really huge! Even better than the lack of cravings, the prospect of loosing weight and being in better shape is what this has done for my mind. I am calm and centered and HAPPY. Endorphins are a wonderful thing. Last week I was so far in an emotional hole, no- PIT-that I was having a hard time seeing my way out. But I'm back now!



This calm centered state of mind is helping me to re-assess where we are with our search for land, or maybe I should say search for a simpler lifestyle. Yes we need to make some changes to our way of living-but do we need to have 40 (or more) acres in the middle of nowhere to accomplish this? Maybe the roadblocks we have reached are a way of fate/higher power/karma telling us this is not our path?



Our goals for this family: 1) spend more high quality time with the girls

2)Hmmm, I am stuck for what come next-the girls are the key!

3) Not being completely dependant on the industrial agricultural machine

4) Not completely dependant on oil/coal for our energy needs

5) Buying stuff does not equal happiness.

I can do all of those thing right here!

I will let go of the forty in the woods for now. The things I CAN and NEED to focus my energy on now are financial and personal fitness, not beating myself up because I do not knit my own socks, homeschool my kids or make sauerkraut! :p (But kudos to those of you who do!)
K

Just a thought...perhaps SAD is a coping mechanism for the winter. My heritage is northern european, where the winters are long an unrelenting. My theory is Seasonal Affective Disorder is a trait which was selected for in the far North. How better to survive 6 months of winter than to withdraw and sleep alot. Evolution at its best! Instead of thinking 'what is wrong with me' go with it (up to a point- I realize that SAD can be very severe in some folks). Be sure to get plenty of outdoor exercise and don't totally withdraw, but what is wrong with sleeping a little more??
I am curious how many of you'all are affected by SAD (on a scale of 1(best)-10 (worst)) and what is your genetic background?
We looked as some more land yesterday...had two really nice walks in the woods at least. It seems that we can find land which is wooded and beautiful or land which is in crops but nothing which has a little of each! One of us will have to settle and as Tom points out it takes longer to grow a forest than to clear a field, (I guess that depends on who is pulling the stumps ;}). I am leaning towards the woods which is landlocked-it will be less expensive and then we are 100% comitted to being off the grid. Hmmm I seem to be drawn to the remote and inaccessable, what does that say abotu me?? K

Meet the Worms

They have been talking chickens at the back forty and http://a-homesteading-neophyte.blogspot.com/; while I have no chickens right now, I do have livestock of a different sort. They are very low maintenance, they do not bother the neighbors, they do eat my childrens homework (and my junk mail), and all they ever give me is S**T! They are my red worms of course! They started as a dozen worms brought home from the Midwest Renewable Energy Fair (http://www.themrea.org/) two years ago by my then 5 year old. Last winter most of our food scraps went into the bin, then they moved outside for the summer and turned a large pile of last years used up 'potting soil' into great growing material again. Now the worms are back in the house in TWO bins. We are experimenting with using them to recycle waste paper in addition to waste food (anything but meat or fat). Any paper not brightly colored or shiney goes through the cross cut shredder and into the bins. We are using the resulting compost for flowers/ornamentals-not for food-so I am not so worried about the heavy metals, etc from the ink. Now instead of hanging on to EVERY piece of schoolwork the girls bring home (and they bring home ALOT) they love to shred the work and feed it to the worms-of course the 'masterpieces are saved for posterity! So far the only problem I am having is fruit flies! I had read that freezing the food scraps prior to placing in the bin would prevent the fly eggs from hatching, but it does not seem to be working. I loved Harvey's idea for worm bins in the greenhouse and worms fed to the chickens on the modern homestead site-K

Maybe it's the weather. As up and positive as I was last week, today i am just flat... It may also be that i feel work is trying to take over my life! One of our veterinarians has been put out of commission and is on manditory bed rest, she will be out until February on maternity leave(damn kids ;) ). We knew this was coming and have someone to help us out-but she isn't ready to start yet. i was starting to find my groove-working less and seeing life outside of work. My knee jerk reaction is to put my tail between my legs and go back to work, but I won't do it this time. It will take me a few days to adjust to the new schedule but I will not go back to the old ways. I did tell the trainer that I will start the intense personal training NEXT week, otherwise I was just setting up unrealistic expectations. Two steps forward, one step back. Kris

As I am 'waking', my creative side has been begging for an outlet. I think it started last winter and has been building from that point. My husband and I have joined forces and he is building bird houses and squirrel feeders with 'scrap' lumber from his work and I get to stain/paint/etc-it is good to have a joint project! K

Invest in Yourself- always outperform the market!

I took a plunge today- no i didn't quit my job or sell the business. But I am investing in myself! I just pluncked some $ down for 28 days of intensive training with a personal trainer, along with a strict diet, measurements each week, yadda, yadda. Going to the gym these past few weeks on a regular basis has been a self imposed test of sorts. I am so good at good intentions and big plans-but short on follow through! So I joined the gym for just a 1 month contract, then worked out regularly for 2 weeks, now set up personal training sessions. 20# in 28 days is the 'hook'. It is not a sustainable diet, but short term and will get me started on my total goal of 50# which is more like a 9 month goal, and way to big of a challenge for me now! Small steps! He is really more interested in inches than #. I am really excited to do this, and a little nervous--I mean I really like BREAD and carbs and there is very little of that in my near future. I am such a tightwad about money so this is a is a big step for me. I start next week so I'll keep you all posted! Look forward to some pictures of our wood crafts and the watercolor/charcoal drawings I (finally) got framed-maybe friday i will have a chance to post them. Happy Happy KRIS

Confessions

Hi my name is Kris and suffer from affluenza. The first step is to admit you have a problem, right? I am a upper middle class, small business owner, overachieving, people pleasing, yes girl and it is killing me (really). I feel I have been awakening by degrees, but now I find myself here, awake and freaking out. This is not who I am, but it is. I have allowed this to become my life. No one is responsible but ME. So ME is responsible for moving in the direction my heart feels is right. There is a quote which I thought was sappy, dumb 'Be the change you wish to see in the world' . Well it is starting to make more sense to me now.

So do I do this in degrees? or take a polar plunge? Don't worry Mom and Dad :) I am not going to throw all this education away. I love being a veterinarian, it is what I was meant to do, it is my way of helping people and I am very good at it. But a business owner -no way-it is killing me! I cannot say no, and put work before family, self, EVERYTHING.

This is so very frightening -- to give up a business which is thriving and growing. It is my whole identity! (that is so sad). To give up this financial security -or at least the illusion of security in these times. Who am I to reject the 'american dream'?

I am the change I wish to see in this world-that is who I am. K