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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Confessions

Hi my name is Kris and suffer from affluenza. The first step is to admit you have a problem, right? I am a upper middle class, small business owner, overachieving, people pleasing, yes girl and it is killing me (really). I feel I have been awakening by degrees, but now I find myself here, awake and freaking out. This is not who I am, but it is. I have allowed this to become my life. No one is responsible but ME. So ME is responsible for moving in the direction my heart feels is right. There is a quote which I thought was sappy, dumb 'Be the change you wish to see in the world' . Well it is starting to make more sense to me now.

So do I do this in degrees? or take a polar plunge? Don't worry Mom and Dad :) I am not going to throw all this education away. I love being a veterinarian, it is what I was meant to do, it is my way of helping people and I am very good at it. But a business owner -no way-it is killing me! I cannot say no, and put work before family, self, EVERYTHING.

This is so very frightening -- to give up a business which is thriving and growing. It is my whole identity! (that is so sad). To give up this financial security -or at least the illusion of security in these times. Who am I to reject the 'american dream'?

I am the change I wish to see in this world-that is who I am. K

1 comment:

MeadowLark said...

Listen.

You'll hear your path calling to you.

(I know that sounds all dumb and new age-y, but I swear... our hearts know where we should be. We just forget to listen)

Good luck with your decisions. Peace to you.