*** Nothing to see here folks just some blog venting instead of seeking professional help-ha***
I am in a funk (again), this is such a recurrent theme for me. I'm up, I'm down; repeat weekly, daily, even hourly. While this is a pretty normal thing for me,this yo-yoing up and down feels like it has been increasing in amplitude over the past few (years?)(months?).
A few contributing factors:
*Realizing that I don't like being the boss. I'm an indian not a chief-or maybe it would be better if I was the chief of a smaller tribe :). Sorry not a very PC metaphor but it's all I got. Our clinic is growing and profitable but I do not feel connecting to it -it makes me tired and pays the bills. Although I do enjoy being 'somebody' in the community.
*I think I may be in pre-menopause. I have begun getting my period every 2 1/2 -3 weeks. Yuck. Along with the 'get out of my way I am having sugar RIGHT NOW' which accompanies above mentioned period. I will go in for my annual exam -i am overdue (by about 12 months!)
*Then there is the moving/lifestyle change we are attempting. Really won't it be the same lifestyle just with a longer commute, a new school district, and fewer neighbors/resources to draw from. I am seeing that our vision for this place hinges on one of us being home alot, can we afford that? What if our house doesn't sell, how long can we pay two mortgages (indefinitely-IF i work more-but that isn't the point).
I am being whiny and scared but this is REAL, not one of those glossy pie in the sky blogs. And I am a REAL person- not super mom, veterinarian of the year, blah blah blah.
Some pictures to make me smile and remember what this is all about:
It's working -feeling better already. These are all pictures of the things which are most important in my life. That is the hopefull idea I will hold on to, which will give my the courage to go forward and be brave!