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Friday, March 12, 2010

Still Kicking

I'm still here, still kicking. It was a rough week but I am on the up-turn. I need to use the correct terminology, it wasn't a funk, it's not moodiness, it's not SAD, or pre-menopause; the correct word is depression. There, I said it, I suffer from depression. Not every day,not every week, sometimes I am unaffected for months and months-but it is a part of me every single day, like my left-handedness or freckles. I need to acknowledge it and take steps to prevent it from taking over.
That is all for today. Back to your regularly scheduled programming tomorrow :)


clink said...

Ahhh ... join the club. I was diagnosed almost 20 years ago. I had suffered for years before seeking treatment. I no longer take meds, though I did for years. But I still have my therapist on speed dial!

Being my authentic self helped more than any med out there. I also avoid negative people and people that want to drag me down. And when life gets tough ... I dig in the dirt, make some cheese, re-finish a cupboard or spin some yarn. Creating restores my soul.

Hang in there. Know there are those around you that understand. And take it easy on yourself -- so if you sleep all weekend -- its ok.

As one of my doctors once told me -- if you were a diabetic, would you beat yourself up about it?

This is not defect -- it is not a weakness - it is a disease.

Ruralrose said...

Clink is so right - join the club, pull up a chair and be your authentic self! Quit your damn job, buy a mobile home and more to the country. You can never predict what the future has in store so it is very important to be as satisfied with your personal life as possible. Who cares what it looks like? Who cares about your position in the the community? What matters is being so happy and healthy you want to live a long time. Staying at home affords you this, it makes it so you don't need so much money all the time. Life isn't the "struggle against" as it is in monetary society, but in our natural state a "flow with" instead, which brings great relief from worry. Your children are going to learn so much from the experience of the change and how their life is improved, and yours, in itself is reason enough. Education is education. Maybe it is silly to expect "higher learning" and the "corporate ladder" to success to be there, who knows? You are depressed because your inner self is screaming, get me out of here please let me live the life I was put on the earth to be. That is to nourish your body and soul with pleasures of nature. They are unseen to the monetary world, but like love sustain happiness, joy and bliss. Peace

hickchick said...

Ms Eff-thanks for the comment. The authentic self comment is something I am wrestling with. I have a belief that creative people are much more likely to have depression, and you know what I wouldn't give up my creativity for anything! I probably would beat myself up if I were diabetic (type 2 anyway!)

Ruth -ditto on the creative gene. I can always count on you to say what you think! THANK YOU! (I am seriously considering the quitting my job part-even though it takes my breath away) I have too many shoulds and have-to's in my life!