Bread Snob

I have officially become a bread snob. This winter I began baking my own again after the camper adventure. This weekend I resorted to my back-up bread maker for a quickie loaf :) Yuck! Like sawdust. I'd rather buy store stuff.

Largely irrelevant now because bread is a thing of the past for me. After several weeks of very low carb diet-no bread, pasta, rice, or potatoes- I ate some of that yummy homemade bread--what a stink! I have discovered that my system really just does better without the carbs. I don't know if the gas was the gluten or just a dearth of GI bugs to handle all the carbs.

I am back to low carb/no gluten now. Anybody have any good spelt recipes?

GrasWerka Family Farm

I have started our farm web site-pretty primative and only one post so far, but I gotta start somewhere!

Healer Heal Thyself

I have (re) started the first step in what I hope will be a long and wonderful learning experience. North American Institute of Medical Herbalism has distance learning available and I am ready to learn. Their First Course in Medical Herbalism contains 2 disks, a kit of 15 herbs, and a journal to record impressions on taste, energetics, and effects of each herb as you experience each one. I purchased this last winter but didn't get too far. I listened to the lecture on Vitalism last night. I need to listen again to really let things soak in, but his description of medicine as a balance between tradition and experience, between scientific and intuition was a huge relief to me. He also talked about healers needing to have the insight and faith that goes along with healing yourself first; being able to recognize the vital (the difference between a crunchy carrot and a wilty one!), having the insight to recognize a healing crisis when it arises and the confidence to guide someone past the crisis. I accept that challenge for myself; to remove the barriers which are keeping me from being the extra crunchy carrot :)

I am also working on our farm website at wordpress-more info when it is presentable to the public!

revived

Ohhh aren't they beautiful?!! My hens are gifting us with 5-7 eggs daily and it gives me joy!

The last couple of months have been pretty hard for me, but I feel better now, a little more in control. The craziness of moving out of the old house, making the new one a home, the holidays, and changing my career path have been enough to get my anxiety and depression tendencies all stirred up. After Christmas I was sick-layed out on the couch for 4 full days, very uncharacteristic. But my body knew what it was doing. I required rest. I am now feeling brighter, renewed and ready to take the reins again.

If I am to be a full time farmer this summer (and beyond??) i need to begin working on my number one tool--ME. i am 40 and 50lbs overweight, my joints hurt (duh), and am well on my way to becoming a diabetic if i don't take responsibility for my own health. If i wish to do half the things we are dreaming about i need to be stronger, more flexible and generally healthier. So i am on it, details forthcoming but lets just say it's a Primal approach.

I need help with farm names- we were calling ourselves GrassWorks-but that is the name of the state grazing network-confusing if we wish to grow and be a 'going concern'. So another idea is PastureWorks Family Farm (kinda dry), or the german gras werka (verka) translation of grassworks which makes sense from an intellectual point DH is very german and the german immigrants held a belief of land husbandry rather than exploitative approach to the land. Ive been playing with Hxxx's Field of Dreams which tickles my fancy--but is 'field of dreams' an untouchable copyrighted phrase? IDK Any input appreciated!

grim

Sort of a disjointed rambling kind of post. I have been lurking around the bloggosphere for the last couple weeks-lots of ideas in my head and im gonna purge it out today!

I'm not sure when I became so grim. I have always been on the serious side: a hard working, eye on the ball kind of gal. But (I think) I used to have fun, be spontaneous and silly and...JOYFUL. I don't remember how to relax and enjoy and just be.

I am either working or avoiding. I may look like I am cuddled on the couch ENJOYing a good read, but I am really AVOIDing something I feel I should be doing. Since I have decided only I am responsible for my life's story and am acting on that belief in other parts of my life- -this too needs to change. Strive for balance-spend part of my days JOYFULLY embracing my family's needs -dishes, homework help, groceries, etc but then also take care of my own needs; I need to laugh, I need to create art, I need to be able to relax in my own skin. I have a literally never-ending list of shoulds in my head, to find peace and joy I need to push them out the door. I am always telling my 8 yr old that she can choose her attitude -sounds like good advise for me too!

Talking to one of my employees yesterday, I said something like 'i could go home and sleep for a week!' She looked at me and said well why don't you? you never take a vacation. Hmmm why don't I? because i only work 3 days a week -isnt that vacation enough? just to stay home and putter/nap-that doesnt seem valid somehow. asking for help-asking my co-workers to cover for me. sounds like guilt and self worth issues are stopping me, that and $.

I need to stop listening to the news on the radio--recession, national debt, unemployment, economic collapse, gloom and doom. Then add working with clients every day with sick pets and no money; we are broke, please fix fido, we have $100 to pay you but then we can't buy groceries for the kids. No wonder I am getting burned out! I am getting mean -not like sadistic mean, but stingy and miserly mean- the opposite of abundant.

Unless you have balance like a ninja, dont go snowshoeing in 3 foot drifts with out a walking stick! I took a day off work today (yay me!) and went out for a snow day! We have all this beautiful snow (maybe another 6 inches yesterday?). The long grass in the slough creates the most wonderful drifts. Unfortunately I am not a ninja, and down I went-flat on my back shoes wedged under the snow crust, no walking stick. I flopped around, not able to use my arms to get up through the deep snow, finally I had to unstrap the shoes to get up. Not a pretty moment. But I am smiling now!