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Sunday, November 29, 2009

Hiding Under the Covers

Did your mom ever tell you 'if you don't have anything good to say...'? Well I've been pretty quiet lately for that very reason. Last week was one of those black times for me. It seems every few months around my period I have a few days where I just want to crawl under the covers, curl up and cry-for no particular reason. Or get under those covers with a big piece of chocolate and a book. I've been exercising regularly and not eating much sugar so I know those are NOT contributing factors. I think narcissism and depression are on opposite ends of a spectrum which is too self-involved. Both personalities focus inwardly-thinking only of themselves, but where the narcissist has these grandiose ideas and inflated self-worth, the depressed person is focused inwardly on their own misery and anxiety. Take these ideas for what they are worth, just some random thoughts.
I was on medication for post-partum depression 10+ years ago and hated the zombie deadness. No pain, but no joy either. I am generally a pretty buoyant person, I will take the few days of chocolate under the covers over steady state zombie any day.
I am coming back to myself now, hormones are normalizing and I was kicked out of my little cocoon of self-involvement to be an vendor at an Alternative Holiday Market. More on that later-i am still sorting through some ideas which have been planted in this fertile ground between my ears. (fertile or just full of shit-time will tell)

4 comments:

Sue said...

When I was small, my mom would call this "having a bad moon". I liked that play on the word mood. It fits. I still have "bad moons" despite having gone through menopause (which I was HOPING was the cause!). I just avoid people for a few days and delve into work or hobbies or whatever. As the expression goes-'This too shall pass".
Have a great week........

livinginalocalzone said...

You're right, a few days under the covers are better than mechanical walking-in-a-fog, and when you know its time to come out, then come on out! I hope you are doing better, and you are in my thoughts.

hickchick said...

Thanks for the thoughte sue and mango- I have bounced back nicely-the covers have been thrown back and I am ready for anything!

Gina said...

So agree with the "blue time' vs. "Zombie Deadness". I take a little blue over nothingness any time too.

Glad you are better! :)