Back to Work

I've been kinda quiet here on the blog lately.  Rest assured that I have been working hard.  Last week I was  filling in for a veterinarian who took his wife on a well deserved vacation to somewhere tropical.  Nine hours a day plus an hour of driving on either end.  I did get an unheard of, actual whole hour to sit down and eat lunch in the middle of the day!  I has happy to do it for a couple of reasons the first of which is income. An hourly independent contractor rate is pretty sweet.  Second and equally important was restoring my faith in my abilities.  I left my practice almost a year ago burned out and uncaring.  It was a relief to see that I've still got 'it'.  I really enjoyed engaging with his clients and staff, dare I say I've even missed it.  What I did realize is that veterinary medicine is not the all encompasing passion it once was for me.  Somewhere I lost the passion which used to keep me up at night reading about new drugs, procedures, customer service tips, etc.   When I lost that passion I stopped feeling qualified, I started doubting.  I wasn't sure if I was good enough and tough cases really stressed me out.  What if I couldn't fix them, what is wrong, maybe they would be better off under someone elses care?  That self doubt would eat at me(-I'm getting that nauseous feeling in my stomach right now just writing about it!)  This realization helped me to see that if I go back to veterinary medicine it will need to be from passion, from an all consuming drive, confident that I am extremely skilled and able to give my profession 100% of my mind (herbal?, acupuncture? consulting for organic producers?).  Anything less will bring me back to where I was a year ago. 
New Business:  thirty pigs, 200 chickens, farmers market and Slow Food Wausau! ( just a teaser for tomorrow)